


Blue Gatorade and Mango Tequila

by baekluvr69



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Crush, Awkward Oh Sehun, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Vomiting, baekluvr69, i need to stop, idek what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27794158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekluvr69/pseuds/baekluvr69
Summary: Sehun really didn’t want to be lame. Also, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about the toxic looking liquid. Also also, free-tarot-reading.net had told him last week that he should be open to trying new things because one never knows what one may discover! so all in all it seemed like he should chance taking a few sips.--or alternatively: “Well, you know what they say! If someone barfs in your room, that officially makes them your best friend.”
Collections: the general adventures





	Blue Gatorade and Mango Tequila

**Author's Note:**

> This happens in the same universe as Laxatives at 2 AM :)

It had been forty seven minutes plus fifteen seconds and counting since Jongdae was supposed to show up. Sehun’s head smacked onto the hard wood of the library desk as he opened up his phone. He’d sent five consecutive messages to Jongdae, each intellectually spaced seven minutes apart, asking where he was. Jongdae hadn’t responded even once. 

The moment Professor Choi had told him he’d be paired with Jongdae for the end of term project in Music 101, he’d known it was bad news. Not because Jongdae was stupid, oh no, he was crazy smart! It’s just that Jongdae’s  _ weird _ . He’s loud and obnoxious and just, very weird. Kind of like Chanyeol, but worse, because Chanyeol didn’t do shit like spend a week pretending he was Sokka from Avatar, or try to smuggle christmas trees onto college property, or argue with professors about the validity of GUT Baryogenesis under Sakharov conditions. 

And his best friend Baekhyun? Even worse. Those two together, and they were almost always together, were every professor’s nightmare. Campus legends. Not someone Sehun would normally talk to because he was scared of talking to people in general, but in this situation, with his grade at stake, it seemed he would have to square up and do it. He planted his hands on the table and rose from his chair, flinching when it pushed back with a loud screech. Then he power walked to Jongdae’s dorm, which he knew the location of because he’d had to pick up a very drunk Chanyeol from there a week ago.

It occurred to him that Jongdae might not be there, or perhaps away attending to some emergency that had come up and that’s why he hadn’t responded. But also he’d walked a long way just to get here so it was too late to think about that, wasn’t it? He knocked loudly on the door and waited. No one opened the door. He would think no one was there except right as he was turning around, he heard a loud screech from inside. So someone was definitely there. It was just a matter of getting their attention. He knocked again, even louder than last time. Sehun was good at knocking loudly. It was one of his few talents. 

Thankfully, this time the door was opened by Baekhyun, or he would’ve had to resort to kicking. He was even more grateful when he realized Baekhyun was wearing a sleeveless black tank, hair still wet and stringy and clinging to his forehead, from sweat or a recent shower Sehun didn’t know. What a blessed and glorious sight for his eyes! Even if his nose was being assaulted by Baekhyun’s body odor, it was alright, that was kind of hot too. It occurred to him that maybe he was a little not OK, but whatever. Baekhyun just stared at him and tilted his head up as if asking what he was here for and _god was that hot_ _how is that hot?_

“Uh I’m uh-is Jongdae here? I’m Oh Sehun from his Music 101 and um-we are, we’re supposed to be working on a project together?” Sehun felt heat move to his cheeks. Could he not get through a simple sentence without stuttering? 

Baekhyun smiled warmly at him and Sehun thought his heart would beat out of his fucking chest. “Yeah he’s inside! Come on in, you can talk to him.”

Sehun thanked him and stepped inside, trying to hold his breath so he wouldn’t die. Seriously, the stink was so bad he could  _ taste _ it. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of hot cheetos bags and dusting covering the couch and the beer cans littered around, interspersed with random clothing. How the hell did they live like this? Sehun and Chanyeol were  _ clean _ compared to these two, and that was saying something. Even Baekhyun’s hotness couldn’t make him ignore the fact that the dude needed help, but Sehun wasn’t going to say anything because, you know, he was too shy and scared for that. 

“Oy, there’s an Oh Sehun here to meet you for a project!” Baekhyun yelled, slamming a door open to reveal Jongdae sitting at his computer in a room that looked more like a dumping ground. Jongdae jumped up immediately, guilt etched onto his face, but not before closing a tab that looked a lot like images of sonic porn. Don’t ask how Sehun knows, he really wishes he didn’t.

“Holy shit, I’m so sorry Sehun! I completely forgot, I’m so sorry,” and to his credit he did look genuinely sorry so Sehun told him it was alright. Jongdae’s left eye twitched and so did the right side of his mouth. Sehun didn’t know what that reaction was supposed to mean. 

“What time do you want to work on it then?” 

  
Jongdae patted the edge of his bed which was right behind the desk he was sitting at. “Plop down over here, we can work on it now!” 

Sehun edged over an empty pizza box and a pair of neon yellow boxers before taking a seat. Even after Sehun sat down, Jongdae kept tapping the edges of his nails on his desk over and over, his leg bobbing up and down. The guy could not sit still today, huh? 

That’s when Sehun noticed an elegant wine glass on Jongdae’s desk filled with some kind of greenish blue liquid. Jongdae must have noticed him staring because he launched into an explanation, left eyebrow twitching along with his eye now. 

“Don’t mind that, we haven’t washed the dishes in a while so we’re onto the wine glasses now. Not sure why we have these actually, I think I won them in some raffle. Anyway, it’s the last one, soon I’ll be drinking out of bowls.”

“Why can’t you just...wash the dishes then?”

Jongdae stared at him incredulously as if he’d just announced that he was a green lizard person from Jupiter or something before reaching to the glass and taking a large swig of the concoction.

“What’s in that anyways,” Sehun asked before he could even stop himself. 

“Water filter’s broken and I need to stay hydrated so it's just some blue gatorade and mango tequila. The gatorade is expiring in three days so I might as well use it.”

Sehun just stared. 

“The tap water is way too basic to be safe, I tested it. Also it’s got arsenic, I tested that too. I had no other choice.”

Sehun continued to stare. He really did not know what to say, or think.   
  


“Ok, don’t look at me like that! I know, tequila isn’t even hydrating, but it tastes good! Actually, this mix tastes awesome, do you wanna try it?” 

He vehemently shook his head. God no, he wasn’t about to try that. Surely this is why Jongdae and Baekhyun are the way they are. They drink weird shit and inhale noxious fumes everyday. It’s probably  _ altered their brains _ . It didn’t seem like Jongdae was going to take no for an answer thought because he began pouting as he stared up at Sehun.

“Come on Sehun, you really should try it! It’s awesome. Just a sip,” he tilted the cup towards Sehun. 

“I’m-I’m fine. Really!” he tried to move back, but the pouting was working. 

“Don’t be lame, Sehun, a few sips won’t do anything!”

Hm. That changed things. Sehun really didn’t want to be lame. Also, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about the toxic looking liquid. Also also, free-tarot-reading.net had told him last week that he should be open to trying new things because  _ one never knows what one may discover! _ so all in all it seemed like he should chance taking a few sips. 

“Alright,” he obliged, taking the slender stem of the wine glass in his fingers and tipping it into his mouth. It tasted sweet at first, too sweet, and then the intensity of it burned on his tongue so he swallowed quickly. Looking back, he should have spit it out, because after he swallowed it he felt weird. His stomach felt bloated and the liquid was sloshy and he felt bile rise in his throat and he was about to tell Jongdae that he didn’t feel so good but instead of words, his quick lunch of instant ramen and cheez-its came out of his mouth, spilling onto Jongdae’s carpet.

His first thought was that the stain and stench wouldn’t even be that noticeable compared to everything else that was already there. His second thought was  _ oh god I just threw up on his carpet holy shit I should apologize what the fuck have I done _ . However, his words were stopped in his throat when Jongdae stared solemnly at him from across the vomit puddle and said, “Well, you know what they say! If someone barfs in your room, that officially makes them your best friend.”

Sehun had never heard such a saying before, but if it meant Jongdae wouldn’t be mad at him  _ and _ he could get a friend out of it, then he was going to deem this saying very wise and true. 

**Author's Note:**

> i think i wanna write a superm fic but theyre like, pirates, so thats a thing. but also i have writers block n m tryna get rid of it by churning out nonsensical word vomits which is what this is uwu


End file.
